the russian and the clarinet
found during routine blog maintenance... not sure why this was unpublished (original date 8/14/04), but a very funny early story of the pbe.
it must have been last spring, we had a pretty crappy rehearsal at the ave 50 studio in highland park. the rehearsal details are kind of sketchy, but i vaguely remember being very rude to everybody at the end. needless to say things were not hitting on all cylinders that night. i think scott (clarinet/bass clarinet) was also out of it and fighting a cold.
so we have packed our equipment and are ready to roll. some nights we all want to hit a local bar (the little cave, mr. t's), but tonight it is just scott, sean ferguson and i. the mood is dark, everybody probably has had a shitty day teaching/working, and rehearsal is supposed to help lift the mood. oh well, maybe all we have left is the "hang" to salvage our wretched lives.
of course we all mumble, just one beer, gotta get some sleep, got a early day tomorrow...
but then the russian walks in.
i catch our regular bartender (abel) roll his eyes and give me one of those looks. the russian sits down and it immediately starts, able yells "man, no way, i told you no more, now get out." the russian pulls a stack of bills and says "i am in the russian mob, i could make you disappear" this goes back and forth until able lets the russian buy the whole bar drinks, but still will not serve him. of course we notice the free round coming our way and join the fun. scott is still feeling down, but the free drink boosts his spirit. as scott moves over to check out the situation, the russian cheers and points like a little kid at scott's clarinet case. before we know it the clarinet is on the counter and the russian has it out of the case and is starting to put it together.
what??? scott thinks this is kind of cool, and is happy to engage in a late night show and tell, but sean and i see the future pretty quick. barfight... broken clarinet... mob hit... witness protection...
so we jump in, point out that playing the clarinet in the bar is not a great idea... i push the fact that scott is coming down with a cold and the russian looks at scotts pale yellow skin and realizes that he might be sick. standing off to the side the bouncer looks at clarinet, thinks 'always something new', jumps in to 86 the russian before clarinet is thrown or becomes weapon. sean pulls out pack of cigs and offers them to russian, russian realizes that the cigs are a good way to save face, clarinet is returned and the russian leaves without fight a balance is restored to our pitiful world once again.
as the bar returns to normal, we all realize we should just cut our losses and head home before any real damage is done.
it must have been last spring, we had a pretty crappy rehearsal at the ave 50 studio in highland park. the rehearsal details are kind of sketchy, but i vaguely remember being very rude to everybody at the end. needless to say things were not hitting on all cylinders that night. i think scott (clarinet/bass clarinet) was also out of it and fighting a cold.
so we have packed our equipment and are ready to roll. some nights we all want to hit a local bar (the little cave, mr. t's), but tonight it is just scott, sean ferguson and i. the mood is dark, everybody probably has had a shitty day teaching/working, and rehearsal is supposed to help lift the mood. oh well, maybe all we have left is the "hang" to salvage our wretched lives.
of course we all mumble, just one beer, gotta get some sleep, got a early day tomorrow...
but then the russian walks in.
i catch our regular bartender (abel) roll his eyes and give me one of those looks. the russian sits down and it immediately starts, able yells "man, no way, i told you no more, now get out." the russian pulls a stack of bills and says "i am in the russian mob, i could make you disappear" this goes back and forth until able lets the russian buy the whole bar drinks, but still will not serve him. of course we notice the free round coming our way and join the fun. scott is still feeling down, but the free drink boosts his spirit. as scott moves over to check out the situation, the russian cheers and points like a little kid at scott's clarinet case. before we know it the clarinet is on the counter and the russian has it out of the case and is starting to put it together.
what??? scott thinks this is kind of cool, and is happy to engage in a late night show and tell, but sean and i see the future pretty quick. barfight... broken clarinet... mob hit... witness protection...
so we jump in, point out that playing the clarinet in the bar is not a great idea... i push the fact that scott is coming down with a cold and the russian looks at scotts pale yellow skin and realizes that he might be sick. standing off to the side the bouncer looks at clarinet, thinks 'always something new', jumps in to 86 the russian before clarinet is thrown or becomes weapon. sean pulls out pack of cigs and offers them to russian, russian realizes that the cigs are a good way to save face, clarinet is returned and the russian leaves without fight a balance is restored to our pitiful world once again.
as the bar returns to normal, we all realize we should just cut our losses and head home before any real damage is done.
Labels: pbe history
posted by paul bailey at
9:48 AM
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