Life (We Cannot Retrace Our Steps)

my long life, my long life



RETRACE OUR STEPS is essentially a secular oratorio; a collection of thoughts, feelings, and opinions about modern life (consumerism, idealism, and alienation)
Traditionally oratorios functioned as a musical sermon, coordinated to biblical calendar to enhance the worship service. by setting these conflicting themes in a non-narrative format allows the contradictions and grey areas to become illuminated.

Instead of creating an “official” set of PROGRAM NOTES to accompany this recording (like the ones you are reading right now) I decided that a GRAPHIC LIBRETTO would far better bridge the gap between the trepidation many people feel today when listening to ART MUSIC (music meant for contemplation)

listen and download RETRACE OUR STEPS I-IV:
retrace our steps, act I
retrace our steps, act II
retrace our steps, act III
retrace our steps, act IV

download graphic libretto

download graphic libretto and retrace our steps mp3's (66mb zip file)

do you know?

in my long life

do you know
because I tell you so,
or do you know, do you know



retrace our steps, act IV>

not to what i won

I was a martyr all my life
not to what i won
but what was done

in my long life

in my long life, in my long life
life is strife

what made it live?

has it not gone, what made it live
has it not gone because now it is had



retrace our steps, act IV

but do i want?

but do I want
what we have got?




retrace our steps, act IV
text by guy debord

plagarism is necessary

The meaning of words
participates in the improvement
plagiarism is necessary
progress implies it

retrace our steps, act III

ideas improve

the greatness of art begins to appear
at the dusk of life
ideas improve


retrace our steps, act III

as a memory

it can only be evoked as a memory

a moment of life

a moment of life has grown old
and it cannot be rejuvenated with dazzling colors

in dazzling colors

when art, becomes independent
it depicts its world in dazzling colors



act III

unfolding of the universe

man’s appropriation of his own nature
is at the same time his grasp of the unfolding of the universe



retrace our steps, act III

unfolding

estrangement between man and man

the spectacle is materially the expression of the separation and estrangement between
man and man.

retrace our steps, act III

download mp3

behind the masks of total choice

I am not a genuine pamphleteer
I have nothing to say. I have nothing to write...
If I had something to say, I would be the first to say it
loudly, outrageously, and articulately...

Behind the masks of total choice
different forms of the same alienation confront each other
all of them built on real contradictions, which are repressed



retace our steps, act II
total choice

the world being nothing other than pseudo-enjoyment

That I can't say love each other. Or stop and look at things. Or don't concentrate wealth. Everything I have to say has been said a million times better, plus it's a cliché. Plus...and here's the kicker-it doesn't change anything. The inevitability of history hits me like a mallet over the head. There is no room for a Thomas Paine in the world today-even though I want to be Thomas Paine, filled with revolutionary zeal, making pamphlets on a Xerox machine.

The remains of religion and of the family, and the moral repression they assure, merge whenever the enjoyment of this world is affirmed-the world being nothing other than pseudo-enjoyment.




retace our steps, act II
text, jenny bitner and guy debord

tranquil center of misery

I wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat. I am gripped by the knowledge that I have nothing to say-That even if I could write a pamphlet everyone in the world would see, I would fail.

...the spectacle is nothing more than an image of happy unification surrounded by desolation and fear at the tranquil center of misery.



program notes
retrace our steps, act II

could the correct words make a difference in someone's life?

i wonder: if written in the correct order, could the correct words make a difference in someone's life?

what hides under the spectacular oppositions is a unity of misery.



retrace our steps, act 2
text, jenny bitner and guy debord

do you know you will burn in hell if you don't change your ways?

I am intrigued by the belief that a pamphlet could change a life. I remember those given to me with the images of a man burning amid fiery flames, and inside: "Change your life. Do you know you will burn in hell if you don't change your ways?"

what hides under the spectacular oppositions is a unity of misery.



retrace our steps, act 2
text jenny bitner (the pamphleteer) and guy debord (society of the spectacle)

ever more separated from his world

I wonder if such a pamphlet is possible, and what it could say.

separated from his product, man himself produces all the details of his world with ever-increasing power, and thus finds himself ever more separated from his world.

I am trying to devise the perfect pamphlet

I am trying to devise the perfect pamphlet, a pamphlet that if given to enough people could change the world.

In societies where modern conditions of productions prevail, all life presents itself as an immense accumulation of spectacles.

retrace our steps, act 2
text jenny bitner and guy debord

retrace our steps, act 1

we cannot retrace our steps
going forward may be the same as going backwards.
we cannot retrace our steps, retrace our steps.
All my long life, all my life, we do not retrace our steps, all my long life, but...

(a silence, a long silence)

but-we do not retrace our steps,
all my long life, and her,
here we are her, in marble and gold,
did I say gold, yes I said gold, in marble and gold and where-

(silence)

where is where.
in my long life of effort and strife, dear life, life is strife,
in my long life it will not come and go,
i tell you so, it will stay in the pay but...


retrace our steps, act 1
text.gertrude stein
p.bailey 2005

life is strife

where is where.
In my long life of effort and strife, dear life, life is strife,
in my long life it will not come and go,
I tell you so, it will stay in the pay but...


retrace our steps, act 1
text.gertrude stein
p.bailey 2005

in marble and gold and where-

(a silence, a long silence)

but... -we do not retrace our steps,
all my long life, and her,
here we are her, in marble and gold,
did I say gold, yes I said gold, in marble and gold and where-

retrace our steps, act 1
text gertrude stein
p.bailey 2005

photo (eric richardson)

going forward may be the same as going backwards

we cannot retrace our steps
going forward may be the same as going backwards.
we cannot retrace our steps, retrace our steps.
all my long life, all my life, we do not retrace our steps, all my long life, but...


retrace our steps, act 1
text.gertrude stein
p.bailey 2005